he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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