I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
that is very illegal...i love you.
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