Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Pooping to opera.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
