i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
