hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Randomize
