So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
