She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
