good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
