is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
