What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
