8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I have already put on my inside pants.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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