So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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