So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
