is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
