This girl is more easily done than said...
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
