so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
