shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
