Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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