Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
