when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
