Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
