You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
