Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
