My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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