I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
