It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
