I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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