Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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