Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
