Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
