i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
