Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
