I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
