I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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