i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
