why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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