spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
