So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
