so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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