I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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