laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
You are the jesus of drinking
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
