Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
