I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
