We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
