So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
