do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
