Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
