Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
