windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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