I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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