I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
