kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
