i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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