Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
